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Sunday, 15 November 2009

Liberal

"If by a "Liberal" they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people -- their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, and their civil liberties ... if that is what they mean by a "Liberal," then I'm proud to say I'm a "Liberal."
JFK

Saturday, 14 November 2009

Reform.

I want to know who out there is against health care reform and universal health care. In any way, not just HR 3962.

Because if you are against health care reform, I want you to tell me to my face that I should lie down in the street and die, because I can't afford the best care.

I want you to tell me that it's totally just for the insurance company to expect me to pay nearly $400 a month for Ondansetron that makes me able to eat, when I can barely afford food.

I want you to tell me it's perfectly fine for doctors to dismiss me.

I want you to tell me that you have no respect for me or anyone like me.

I want you to tell me that this is acceptable treatment; tell me that this is acceptable performance by the medical and insurance industries.

I want you to tell me how you know so much about universal health care and how it's bad, because I have friends in Canada who are appalled at how I've been treated by doctors in the United States.
I want you to explain why every Canadian I know has adamantly declared that I would never be treated like this in Canada.

I want you to tell me where you get your statistics. When I research universal coverage, I find that the United States and Canada have the exact same wait times for all major medical procedures. The only difference? Here in America, you go bankrupt afterward.

I want to know when it became acceptable to believe that if you are poor, you don't deserve medical care.

So please. Please tell the girl who needs her medication so badly, because even if she intakes 3,000 calories she still may lose three pounds that day, that if she can't afford it, she may as well just die.

This isn't about Obama. This isn't about Democrats or Republicans. This is about human life. And I want you to tell me that you have so little respect for human life that you refuse to give any of your tax dollars to save mine.
If you are out there saying "But I don't want big government! Let the people govern themselves!" I fully understand you. But in my twenty years I have learned that as individuals, the majority of us are too stupid and too cruel to be trusted with that power. And I can see in other countries that their health care is infinitely better than ours.

Tell me that 37th in the world in health care is acceptable.
FURIOUS.

So my endocrinologist called in a new Zofran prescription for me today, because I ran out yesterday and have been totally miserable.

Ben went to pick it up, and the pharmacy said the insurance wouldn't cover it. They called my insurance company, who said I had a refill at the original pharmacy all the way in Lancaster, and they would only cover that refill, and would cover the new prescription in a week.
Annoying, but my brother was in Lancaster so I asked him to get my refill.

So Leo goes to the pharmacy in Lancaster, who says I don't have a refill. I KNOW I do, so I called and made them figure it out. They fill the script.
When Leo comes back to pay...the total is 57 dollars. For how many pills, you may ask??
SIX.
Yes. $9.50 per pill.
So I'm on the phone with Leo, who is talking to the pharmacy rep, who is talking to the insurance company.

Turns out, the insurance company has decided I can only have 24 Zofran per month, and so they won't cover anything for at least a week.
I have to take two a DAY to be able to eat anything. Without it, I can drink water. Occasionally ginger ale. That's IT.

Well, guess what? I don't have a spare sixty fucking dollars laying around.
And you know what? Zofran is an anti nausea med for cancer patients suffering from the side effects of chemotherapy. Do you think these people have loads of extra money laying around? They only get twelve fucking days worth of medication and then what, it's "Oops, sorry little girl with leukemia. Enjoy half of the month, and then please feel free to waste away for the second half."

If my insurance stops covering this prescription, I will have to pay $570 per month.
Yeah, you know. I can barely afford food, and they expect me to pay nearly $600 just to be able to eat it?
WHAT?!

I tried calling the insurance company myself but apparently there is no one I can talk to until Monday unless I'm a physician or pharmacist.
Because guess what? The insurance company's bill will be a lot higher when I go to the emergency room because I can't eat, and after a few days of not eating I won't be able to drink, either. And I won't be able to keep down my vitamin D supplements, and vomiting will only make my level drop further.

I ended up calling my dad sobbing, asking if there was anything over the counter that wasn't liquid and wasn't dramamine, or if he could give me veterinary anti-nauseals (if there are any).
He told me he would go down to the pharmacy and pay for it.
I still have to drive for an hour tomorrow to actually go GET it from him (which will be a blast while I'm totally miserable) but I am so grateful.
And yet, I feel fucking terrible.

No one should have to pay that much for such a necessary medication.
It's above and beyond unjust.
You want to talk about health care reform?
THIS is why we need reform. Unless you think I should just go lie down in the street and die, you implicitly agree that we need reform.
I am so sick that I CAN'T work, I CAN'T earn money, and apparently I still don't qualify for government assistance.
So what the FUCK am I supposed to do?!

Oh, and the insurance is still reviewing whether or not they will cover any of my treatment over the past six months.
Got a letter about that two days ago.

And I'm not afraid to say it: my insurance company is Anthem.
And if Anthem was located in Ohio, I would be storming their office right now.
There is NO excuse to treat anyone like this. I'm not going to spend $300 for half a month's worth of medication. I CAN'T spend that much; I don't have it.
Seriously, what am I supposed to do?

I don't know.
I tried to eat dinner but couldn't keep it down.
I'm so fucking livid.
And so fucking sick.
I can't think straight.

When did this become acceptable coverage?

Friday, 13 November 2009

Don't be a crazy girl.

Okay, there are a few ladies I know who really need this advice. [not on xanga, reposting from a different blog]

The best revenge on an ex (or someone you wanted to date) is to live an awesome life, get hotter, and then start dating someone equally awesome.

Seriously.
I'm not joking.
Please, just go out and be as awesome as possible.

NOTE.
This does NOT work if you've already gone down the crazy path.

To avoid the crazy path, I'm giving you some tips. Read them. If you don't already know them, memorize and apply. I've been friends with crazy girls, I've been victimized by my hubby's psycho ex, and I've watched friends deal with crazy girls. Please don't become one. If you are already, stop it.

If someone says to stop calling them.......you shouldn't call anymore.
(this is especially important if they have already blocked your number. or five of your numbers.)

If he has a new girlfriend.......don't call her either.
(Also. Don't email her, myspace her, facebook her, twitter her, show up at her house, or smash in her headlights.)

If he's having a party........don't show up unless you're invited.
(Seriously, don't. Everyone at that party is laughing at you. Everyone.)

DO. NOT. DRUNK. DIAL.
(You'll sound even sadder than you think. Promise.)

No one can be stolen. He left you. Get over it.
(It's sad, I know. But people aren't property. He was ready and willing. Probably just looking for an out. Sorry. Be mad at him, not his new girlfriend.)

If he cheats on you....you cannot be mad if you cheated too.
(Seriously, I shouldn't have to say this. Clearly, you are both sluts. Quit bitching and go get your snatch tested.)

Do not concoct elaborate schemes to "win him back". You will not "win him back", you will "win yourself a restraining order".
(He probably doesn't ever want you back. And why do you want him back? He isn't treating you well, and maybe has a new girl. Give yourself more respect than that.)

If lots of people are coming up to you commenting on your crazy post breakup behavior.....you were too crazy. Now you get to live out the consequences.
(If you've acted this crazy, you went too far. No rumor could hold that much weight. You were just a crazy ho. Leave town, or at least find a new dating circle, because you are forever marred by this title.) (Seriously. It doesn't go away.)

Everyone gets a breakup grace period, in which it is acceptable to grieve. This period, however, is a month, two or three TOPS. After that, get Prozac and shut up about it. It's over. (If you were married, you get as much time as you want.)
(I may be mistaken, but no man I've ever spoken to has said "cries herself to sleep every night about her ex" as a quality they would like in a woman. Feel free to prove me wrong, though.)

I would like to make this clear:
No one is to blame for your post-breakup behavior except yourself.

I don't care if you drank yourself into oblivion and now can't get off the sauce, or if you scared off a hundred guys because you couldn't stop bawling, or if you have a restraining order because you were "just so in love" and couldn't let go. It's perfectly normal and okay to be sad. It's not okay to have a nervous breakdown over it.
If you seriously are that messed up over it...you have much bigger problems, and you shouldn't be in a relationship at all. Go see a therapist, seriously.

Also.
If he's married, and not to you....the relationship is clearly over.

Also.
If you spent his wedding day sobbing....get Prozac.
Unless he married a hooker out of the blue, you knew it was coming. Your life should not revolve around marriage, nor should it revolve around your ex, and it should especially not revolve around your ex's marriage.

If you are being a crazy girl....seriously. We need to fix this. I hate crazy girls. And I hate how crazy girls think that their ex's new girl/lover/wife is to blame. And apparently smashing my headlights will get you guys back together.

Go out with your friends. Cut your hair. Sit at home and drink wine. Start knitting. Get wasted at the bar and take home a new guy. Adopt 50 cats. I don't care, just get a life of your own. You do exist outside of a relationship. If you don't realize that, you aren't mature enough to be in one anyway.
And again. If you're bitter and angry...get awesome, get hotter. Best. revenge. ever.

(Final note: It is not okay to call, text, email, or otherwise attempt to contact an ex of multiple years who is now married to "make things right". He does not care, I promise you, and his wife definitely does not appreciate it. You are only doing it for your own self validation or because you still have a ridiculous glimmer of hope for the non-relationship. After years pass, apologies are only for the benefit of the apologizer. Don't be selfish.)

Thursday, 12 November 2009

I don't really have anything to say.

I'm just depressed today.
I don't want my life to be like this.

I am running out of hope.
Ugh.

Started my vitamin D regimen today. I really, really hope this will make me feel better.
To bring home how low my levels are, I'm taking 2000 IU a day, which is 500% of the daily requirement, along with 50,000 IU twice a week.
I've basically got adult Ricket's. Osteomalacia.
So yeah.
Just hoping the rest of my results come in soon and they actually show something.
I can't wait until I can get my life back again.